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Press Release 10/16/19                                                                             


+33 (0) 6 45 99 00 36


NOT ME  -  Marianne Dissard        


Memoir / Non-Fiction

Publication Dates :      10/25/19  (ebook/book on Amazon). Paperback already in select shops / online.

Publisher :                   Marianne Dissard

Imprint : Creosote

Distribution :              Gardners  + author's website + all online platforms.

ISBN:                          978-1-9993131-0-4  (paperback)  - already available

ISBN:                         978-1-9993131-1-1  (ebook)  - available from 25 October 2019

ISBN:                          978-1-9993131-2-8  (audiobook)  - available from 15 January 2020


Book is available in these locations:


London Review Bookshop (London)

Word On The Water Bookbarge (London)

The Margate Bookshop (Margate)

Harbour Books (Whitstable)

The Deal Bookshop (Deal)

Archive (Ramsgate)

Vinyl Head (Ramsgate)


Antigone Books (Tucson, Arizona)

Remedy Studio (Berlin)

Hacker & Presting (Berlin)

Saint George's English Bookstore (Berlin)

Love Story of Berlin (Berlin)


Twitter - twitter.com/mariannedissard

Facebook - facebook.com/mariannedissard

Instagram - instagram.com/mariannedissard

Youtube - youtube.com/mariannedissard




"Good grief, this is amazing! I am offered a lot of stories of 'survival' and 'recovery', which tend to be messianic and, frankly, tedious, so I was at best open-minded, perhaps a little dubious, but your book is a knock-out. So frank and fluent and funny. Who else evokes a meditation retreat as pure purgatory? I was mentally climbing the walls." -  Rose Shepherd / Saga Magazine, Simon And Schuster author.

"Often improbably funny, too, Not Me is without doubt one of the best books I've read this year." -  Andrew Smith / author, Moondust and Totally Wired

 “Marianne Dissard is that rare sort of talent: a literary chanteuse who renders the whole world with keen observations, wit, and pathos.” -  Mitch Cullin / author, A Slight Trick of the Mind and Tideland

“Not just painfully honest, but viscerally, brutally honest - a struggle for survival, and ultimately self-acceptance.” -  John Parish / producer, Let England Shake and How Animals Move

“Survival has always been billed as heroic, but you show us that survival - the difficult and secret task - is in how one faces the mundane: eating alone, living alone, talking to one's self. That's the power here.” -  Chris Rush / author, The Light Years



Oct 9               DeutschlandFunk Kultur Tonart - interview

Oct 10             Berlin - Hopscotch Reading Room

Oct 18              London - Scaledown at King & Queen Fitzrovia

Nov 9/10        Manchester - Louder Than Words Festival

Nov 21            Folkestone - Fringe Event Folkestone Book Festival

Nov 22            Margate - Margate Bookie Festival

March 3          Los Angeles - Book Soup

'Not Me' was adapted and performed on stage at Tom Thumb Theatre in Margate in the fall 2018 and Tucson, Arizona in winter 2019. A solo performance was toured in the fall 2019 in the UK. Further stagings of 'Not Me' will be scheduled in 2020.



French-born Tucson chanteuse Marianne Dissard recorded and toured with members of alt-Americana bands Giant Sand and Calexico. Her own, critically-acclaimed, 'desert noir' chanson plays effortlessly with contradictions: tender, yet abrasive; melodramatic, but vulnerable; comical and heartbreaking.

Equally so her first book, memoir 'Not Me', an impish and poetic exploration of trauma and the life of a disordered touring musician, praised by some of Dissard's favorite authors: Mitch Cullin, Chris Rush and Andrew Smith.

Singer and performer, lyricist and author, producer and filmmaker, and, as described by her friend BK-One in his liner notes to Dissard's Best Of album 'Cibola Gold', fearless....

Marianne is now mostly based in Ramsgate, England where she lived onboard a wooden ketch sailboat for a couple of years. 'Leave to remain in the UK', her 'pre-settled' resident status granted, Dissard is at work on a second book and her fourth album.


For years, Dissard orchestrated her public life as a performer around her private disordered world. In 2013, at the end of her rope, she flees her hometown of Tucson, Arizona to seek solace back in Europe, a continent she’d left at age sixteen. In Paris, Dissard latches on to a yoga teacher training to turn her life around.

 ‘Of course, I was scared when I realized I would be speaking my truth after three decades of keeping it freakishly hidden (or at best cryptically addressed, in French, in my song lyrics)', says Dissard, 'but I had to face the music'.

‘Not Me’ is the account of a year spent away from the stage in an attempt to reboot a life plagued by eating disorders. Invited to teach, Dissard grabs the chance to pause. Focusing on her students, opening up to friendship, she gradually finds her way back to health and connections… and an unlikely home in a wooden boat in England.

‘I kept a journal of what I desperately needed to be a momentous year. These entries would form the basis of a book about my life, all these years I wasted in exile from myself. I don't prettify my truth.' 

Praised by three of Dissard's favorite authors, Mitch Cullin ('Tideland'), Chris Rush ('The Light Years') and Andrew Smith ('Moondust'), this courageous book of unflinching compassion, 'Not Me' is available from October 15th, 2019 with a cover design by noted British designer Jamie Keenan. Ebook is available 25 October 25th, and audiobook January 15th, 2020.

A vivid inner record of universal interest, Dissard's 'often improbably funny memoir' (Andrew Smith), 'not just painfully but viscerally, brutally honest' (John Parish), will speak to anyone who has ever struggled to maintain physical and psychological well-being.



Dissard addresses important topics in 'Not Me'. No one much likes to read about bulimia—Dissard herself recoils at even the sound of the word ('That 'b' followed by a pucker-face 'u', like a mouth opening and spewing ugliness'). We are better acquainted with anorexia, the more 'aesthetic' or normalized eating disorder (ED), but in the UK 40% of the approximately 1.25 million people with an ED suffer from bulimia. And the numbers of those over forty, men and women alike, who suffer from EDs is also rising. 

Approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience mental ill-health each year but the numbers are worse in the arts. A 2014 survey published by Help Musicians, the leading independent UK music charity, found that 60% of musicians had struggled with their mental health, compared to 25% in the UK as a whole.

'I got worse the more I was on stage, exposed but performing a role. And the more I toured, the less I had any sense of "home". Call them addictions, mental ill-health or self-directed delinquencies, these conditions all share a bedrock of isolation, guilt and shame. Frightfully alone in sickness as in recovery, I did it my way—a modern curse’, says Dissard, 'but many are not as lucky'.

'Not Me', despite lifting the veil on some rarely-exposed aspects of eating disorders, is not a recovery memoir. It is the story of a dedicated yogini learning to give of herself as a teacher. 'Yoga had long been my raft on tour as in "real" life,' Dissard notes, 'but yoga in itself is not what "saved" me'. At the end of the book, Dissard fatefully ends up in Ramsgate where she finds not just a more stable home—ironically, on a wooden sailboat—but a community and the meaningful connections to vanquish isolation and sustain a permanent recovery.